Let’s pause and consider something that I think is kind of important: These movies don’t make any sense at all.
I recognize that for the last three chapters, I’ve been ragging on just how inaccurate the titles of these movies are, but honestly, the problems with this series go much, much deeper than that.
So let’s talk about some really central problems.
Freddy himself is an issue. He’s was a kid killer, he went to trial, got out on a technicality, and then a bunch of parents lynched him. Okay.
How did he come back? No, really. That’s my question. HOW?
The first film has something of a mystical take, with discussion of Balinese dreaming, and art and music and everything. So that at least gives us a way to get rid of him, but, once again, we don’t know how he came back in the first place.
I guess it could be argued that the Freddy rhyme reminds people of him, which allows kids to dream about a generic boogeyman named Freddy, but the idea hasn’t been addressed in the course of three movies, which takes things from mysterious and into irritating.
Freddy’s powers. Anyone want to explain those?
He can enter dreams (okay) and kill you in them (okay) and then eventually he can take over your body and enter the real world (though only in one movie, so maybe not).
He can be killed if you insist he’s only a dream (only that doesn’t work) or by telling the person trapped inside him that you love him (only that doesn’t work) or by burying his bones on sacred ground (doesn’t work).
If none of these things stop him, that means he can’t be killed. So why all the “Oh look, we killed him?” drama at the end of each movie?
What would that be?
To kill kids? To kill the Elm Street kids? Why is he stuck on Elm Street? He doesn’t actually seem to be stuck there at all, really. He seems to be able to kill anyone who resides in the town Elm Street is in. What’s preventing him from killing kids all over the world?
I suppose it could be revenge, but that means that once all these Elm street kids are gone, so is Freddy, right?
Am I asking too much?
Eh. On with the show.
Hey, they’re trying to be classy again! The quote this time is: “When deep sleep falleth on men, fear came upon me, and trembling, which made all my bones to shake. Job IV, 13-14.”
Then we get a few credits, and then a hand cleans dirt off of the sidewalk, and starts drawing on it with chalk.
It’s a little blonde girl. Then an older blonde girl walks up to the little blonde girl, and asks who lives there. She says no one.
And where is there? Nancy’s house. Which still has a red door. Why?! Why?! It’s supposed to be blue. Does no one care?
The older girl asks where Freddy is, and the little girl says Freddy’s not home. The older girl looks at the young girl’s chalk drawing, which features Nancy’s house, and Freddy sticking his gloved hand out of the window.
The girl freaks, a freak storm comes up, and the freaky drawing gets washed away in the freak rain (freaky!).
The front door of Nancy’s house opens, and the older girl walks in. Behind her, a bunch of kids play jump rope and do the Freddy chant.
The door closes behind her. She opens it, and goes “out,” only “out” is back into the house.
She tries to calm herself down, and calls herself Kristen. Ah. New actress. Old role.
She sees the Freddy hand on the wall, as a shadow. She looks outside. Tree branch. The window explodes, and she’s blown through a door. Inside the next room, a bunch of chains are hanging from the ceiling.
Welcome back to the boiler room.
Kristen calls out to Joey and Kincaid. Kincaid and Joey get yanked into her dream, which makes them crabby.
She says she knows Freddy is there, and Joey shows her that the pipes, and the boiler, are cold. She doesn’t seem to believe it.
A dog jumps out of the pipe and bites her arm, and the three of them wake up.
Kristen has a bite on her arm.
The next day, Kristen drives pick up her friends. Well, her boyfriend and his sister. Her boyfriend is named Rick, but the name of his sister is a mystery at this point. Though we do get a whole long thing about how when dad is popping a lot of aspirin, it’s time to avoid all contact.
To this end, Rick jumps off the roof to avoid his dad. But then goes and antagonizes his dad anyway.
They drive to school, where they meet a girl with big hair who didn’t do her trigonometry homework. She drools over some guy, and it’s clear that Rick’s sister has a thing for the dude as well.
The cute guy is Dan. Oh, and the sister is named Alice. Yay for names.
And here comes “smart black girl.” You can tell, because she has glasses. The big-haired girl asks for her trig homework. Big hair is named Deb.
Deb reaches into her bag o’ snacks, and pulls out… a thing… with a bug on it. She freaks, drops the food, and squishes the bug.
Kristen goes to her locker, and Joey and Kincaid meet her there. They tell her to stay out of the boiler room when she gets to dreaming. Kristen shows them her dog bite, and Kincaid (it’s his dog who did the biting) says that his dog gets riled up when Kristen drags him into her dreams.
Is it wrong to find the dog-dragged-into-the-dreams thing kind of hilarious?
Rick shows up, and Joey and Kincaid take off. Rick thinks Joey and Kincaid are “kind of spooky.”
As the camera passes by Kristen and Rick, we get to see some lockers that have Freddy-slashes through them. With a glowing red light seeping through the slashes. Um… what?
Later than night, we’re treated to Rick doing a bunch of karate in his garage. Oh, and also he plays with nunchucks. Alice does the dishes.
Dad pulls up in his car, and Rick and daddy go into the house. Daddy asks for dinner, and Rick says they gave up on waiting. So he gets a bowl of what I guess is salad. Daddy freaks out at Alice and Alice smashes his dishes and tells him off.
Only it’s a fantasy sequence.
There’s some more dialogue, but feh.
Later that night, Kincaid plays darts, then falls asleep on his bed. His door opens, and there’s an ominous shadow. Turns out it’s Kincaid’s dog. Who’s named Jason.
Kincaid then goes to sleep. And “wakes up again.” He’s inside trunk of one of the dead cars from part 3. His dog is digging something up. Could it be?
Yeah Kincaid is in the junkyard. He hops out of the car, and confronts his dog. His dog gets all mad and barks. Then he pees fire, and a line of flames shoots along the ground.
The ground opens up, and various and sundry bones assemble themselves into a skeleton. Flesh oozes onto the bones, and hey! Freddy is back!
Freddy says, “You shouldn’t have buried me. I’m not dead.” Or maybe he says it with his brain, because I don’t see his mouth moving.
Kincaid looks around.
Freddy walks around. He looks up. Kincaid pushes a car off the top of the car pile and onto Freddy. He celebrates his victory.
Then cars start blowing up, and sliding around, and generally making things really, really dangerous for Kinciad. Who yells out, “Kristen! Freddy’s back!”
Then Freddy, out of nowhere, grabs him by the collar and gives him a good stabbing. Kincaid dies, as Freddy says, “One down. Two to go.”
In his room, Kincaid real-world dies.
In her room, Kristen has a smoke.
In Joey’s room, Joey listens to music, watches MTV, and looks at the bikini-clad picture of some chick.
He falls asleep, his waterbed starts moving, and he pulls the covers away.
He’s now sitting on top of his water-filled mattress, with is see-through.
On the underside of his “mattress” is the bikini-clad female, who seems to have misplaced her swimsuit. She pushes away, vanishing under the water… and out pops Freddy, who grabs Joey and pulls him under.
There’s a struggle. Joey calls to Kristen. Freddy stabs Joey, the water fills with blood, and both Freddy and Joey vanish under the liquid.
In her room, Alice arranges her photos, taking a moment to look at a shot of her mom. Rick enters her room, and they talk about how dad kind of sucks, and how Alice needs to fight back. Rick tries to show her some ninja-type moves.
She accidentally kicks her shoe off, it flies into her fish tank.
The next morning, Joey’s mom goes into Joey’s room, being all crabby. Until she pulls aside the sheets and sees Joey trapped inside his mattress, being all dead.
Kristen, sitting at school, has a smoke. Alice shows up, and tells her that Rick is looking for her. They talk nightmares. It seems, when Alice was little and her mom was alive, mom taught her about the rhyme called, “The Dream Master.”
(Seriously, folks. I’m about ready to club a baby seal for a consistent mythology.)
We don’t actually get to learn what the rhyme is, or anything. I mean, who wants that?
At any rate, the bell rings, and Kristen heads to class. She discovers that Kincaid and Joey, who I guess are both in this class with her, aren’t there. So she flips out, saying, “He killed them!”
Despite the fact that they could both just have the flu. I mean, I know they don’t, but still. They COULD, is what I’m saying.
Kristen runs at Rick, Rick accidentally pushes her too hard, and Kristen bangs her head against a wall and knocks herself out.
She wakes up in the nurse’s office, looking up into the face of a really mannish-looking female nurse. Or a dude in drag.
(You know what must suck? Being the top-billed actor in a movie, only you’re always wearing makeup so no one can see your face. And when they say, “Hey, no prosthetics today!” you get all excited, and then they stick you in drag.)
(What I’m saying is, the nurse is Freddy.)
The nurse turns away from Kristen, you can see blood appearing in a slash-like way under her shirt, and then Freddy turns around holding a bunch of vials of blood. He takes a syringe of blood and squirts it at Kristen.
And then Kristen wakes up, to a much less mannish-looking nurse.
Dan, the random good-looking dude, goes into a diner. Alice works there. Dan asks Alice about Rick, and she says he stayed after school because Kristen wasn’t feeling very good, which I guess is code for, “He knocked her unconscious.” Dan asks Alice to tell Rick that Dan is looking for him.
Alice goes to waitress to Dan and pal, but it looks like her shift is over, so Deb goes to serve them. And then there’s nerdy black chick, who still doesn’t have a name. Oh, good, someone finally called her Sheila.
Sheila tells Alice that Alice needs to study more and work at the diner less, or she’ll end up there for the rest of her life. Alice says that’s her worst fear. Yeah. We all see where this is going.
Deb and Sheila banter about how Dan is hot and how Sheila doesn’t care about hot guys right now. Then Sheila leaves.
Rick and Kristen arrive, and ask if Alice can go. They now know for sure that Joey and Kincaid died.
Dan calls Rick over to talk to him about something-or-other.
Kristen mopes about the fact that she and Joey and Kincaid were a team.
Then Rick, Kristen, and Alice leave. And Dan follows. For some reason.
The foursome (no, really, why is Dan there? Why?) head to Nancy’s house, and Kristen does her whole “I’ll be dead soon,” thing, and Dan says he doesn’t understand, so Rick tells the whole “Freddy killed children, and now he kills you in your dreams,” story to Dan.
And then: Voice-over!
“Now I lay me down to sleep. The master of dreams, my soul I’ll keep.” Then the camera goes over to Alice, and she says she “thinks she remembers” the rhyme.
A horn honks. It’s Kristen’s mom, telling her to get away from Nancy’s house.
Rick says Kristen can stay if she wants to, but no. Kristen leaves.
Alice looks at the ground – and there’s the chalk drawing from Kristen’s dream. She looks away, she looks back, and the drawing is gone.
Then Rick, Alice and Dan leave. Though the shot of them leaving is from the inside of Nancy’s house. Which is stupid, because there’s no one in there.
Kristen goes home and has dinner with her mom, but she’s not eating much. Mom notes that Kristen hasn’t been sleeping lately, and suddenly Kristen realizes that she feels funny. Mom put sleeping pills in Kristen’s drink.
Kristen gets all angry, pointing out that her mom was one of the people who killed Freddy. (Did she? Really? I guess that sort of makes sense, but I don’t recall anyone mentioning it in the last movie. I guess I could point out once again that nothing in this movie jibes with what all happened in Part 2, but what would be the point of that?)
She goes on to tell her mom that mom has just murdered her. Then she stumbles up the stairs to her room, and starts pawing around, looking for something. She dials the phone, saying Alice’s name.
As she passes out, she says, “Dream someplace fun.” Which was a suggestion of sorts given by Alice earlier.
Kristen wakes up on the beach. She sees a little girl, whose name, it seems, is Alice.
Out in the water, a shark’s-fin-looking-thing zips through the water. Then the sand. Then a sand castle, which explodes. And there’s Freddy.
I guess no one remembered that scary things are usually only scary in the dark. This is pretty much no exception.
It gets worse. Kristen falls into quicksand. Freddy puts on some sunglasses, then steps on Kristen’s head, pushing her deeper into the quicksand. She vanishes into the sand while Freddy laughs.
Kristen, now in clothing instead of a swimsuit, explodes through the ceiling of Nancy’s house. She climbs down to the floor, then down the stairs to the boiler room, where she encounters Freddy again.
Freddy says, “Elm Street’s last brat. Farewell.”
Freddy then suggests that Kristen call on someone to help her out. Kristen says no, then pulls Alice into the dream anyway. Way to go, Kristen. If you held out for one more minute, Freddy would have killed you, and the nightmare would have been over forever and ever. But instead, to brought more victims to the party.
(Er… I guess all that’s true as long as we continue to ignore part 2 some more.)
Kristen tells Alice to wake up.
Freddy grabs Kristen and throws her into the furnace.
Freddy rips open his sweater, showing off “the souls of my children.” Which is the say, the faces on his chest.
Kristen calls out to Alice and says that Alice will need her power. Then a green light shoots out of the fire and hits Freddy. So I guess that’s Kristen’s soul.
A light shoots out of Freddy and hits Alice.
Alice wakes up, goes to her collection of pictures on her mirror, and sees a postcard from Freddy.
It bursts into flame, and Alice drops it and pats it out.
Rick goes to Alice’s room, and Alice says they have to go to Kristen’s house. So they run there. There’s a fire in Kristen’s window.
They go into the house.
Alice, Rick, and Kristen’s mom go into Kristen’s room. Kristen is on fire.
And then we’re graveside, and Kristen is dead. And in a grave.
Later, Alice sits and watches old videos of Kristen and their various other friends being silly. Rick sits down next to Alice, and they talk about whether or not Freddy, like, totally killed Kristen.
Alice believes. Rick doesn’t. There’s some conflict.
Alice says that something happened in the dream, and now it’s like part of Kristen is with her.
Then it’s the next day, and Alice is in the bathroom at school. She talks to Sheila, who didn’t get any sleep the night before. Because she was cramming for a physics test. Also, she made some gadget for Deb that uses ultra-high frequencies to scare bugs away.
Sure. All right. I’m sure that’s not going to come back to haunt this story.
Sheila leaves, and Alice lights up a cigarette. Then she remembers that she doesn’t smoke. Foreshadowing, folks. That’s what THAT’S about.
In physics class, Sheila coughs. Tests are handed out. And then, everyone begins writing.
Sheila looks at her paper, focuses on a formula, and suddenly it starts moving around the page. It turns into the words, “Learning is fun with Freddy.”
Blood drips on the paper. Nope, it’s red ink, from Sheila’s pen.
Alice appears to go to sleep, then wakes up, and sees what’s going on. It seems they’re trapped in the nightmare together.
Sheila tries to wipe the ink away, and her hand is pulled into her desk. She pulls her hand out, and a robot hand pops out of the top of the desk, and tries to hurt her.
Alice and Sheila are yelling, “Wake up!”
Suddenly, everything stops. Alice and Sheila look at the front desk. They see an apple. Freddy, who is sitting at the desk, picks the apple up. He uses a claw to skin part of the apple.
Then he gets up, and approaches Sheila. He takes her glasses. He shows her his claws. Then he sticks his lips on hers and sucks the life out of her.
Except then she wakes up, mid-asthma attack. Alice asks if anyone saw Freddy. They all look at her like she’s crazy.
As Sheila is whisked away by people with a stretcher, Alice freaks out with the realization that she pulled Sheila into her dreams. Her friends are all, “What?” And Rick is all, “Maybe it IS true.”
Later, at the diner, Alice cleans. Dan comes in, and asks for a pack of gum. Dan asks where she’s been. She says she’s been working double shifts, to avoid sleeping.
Dan asks a pointless question so that Alice can explain to the slow people in the audience that Kristen was the last of the Elm Street kids, and now that Kristen is gone, Freddy needs someone new to pull kids “in” for him.
Dan is kind of like, “Oookay” but then his date opens the door and says they’re going to be late for the drive-in. I think his date was Deb, but maybe not. Right hair, anyway.
The next day, some random dude comments to Dan that they’re all dropping off like flies, and expresses pity over Rick, who has a dead girlfriend and a crazy sister.
Dan angry. Dan push day player into locker.
Dan would probably smash, but instead he goes to talk to Rick, who looks wasted. He too, is not sleeping, opting to stay up with Alice.
Rick talks about how if you look into the town’s history, teenagers kind of get the short end of the stick, death-wise.
Then Rick heads into the potty.
(I will not talk about part 2 again here. I will NOT! No! I will not mention how Rick must have found the news story about Freddy appearing years after his death and killing a bunch of kids at a party, because it clearly didn’t happen.)
And then we’re in class with Alice. Her teacher is teaching about – ready? Dreams. Yes indeed. Apparently, Aristotle thought that skilled dreamers could control what they see. Your soul roams free, and you can enter the “positive gate” or the “not-so-positive” gate.
Alice starts to fall asleep.
Meanwhile, while sitting on the john, Rick falls asleep. The stall door opens, and a bunch of cheerleaders wander in. I leave it to you to guess whether this is the positive gate, or the non-positive gate.
Oh, and Alice is also there, watching Rick poop. Non-positive gate, I guess.
Alice and the cheerleaders leave, Rick stands up, fails to wipe (talk about a nightmare!) and sees Kristen in the bathroom mirror. She turns around, and her face is burned.
Rick steps back, and the toilet stall has become an elevator. The door slams shut, and Freddy’s voice says, “Going down!”
Rick starts to panic. The elevator stops, and Rick wakes up.
He’s in what I guess is a dojo. An invisible Freddy gives him a solid thrashing.
Rick fights back, and gets a few punches in. Somehow, he manages to kick Freddy’s glove off.
The glove flies in the air, zooming over into Rick’s belly.
Alice wakes up, screaming, “No!”
And then Alice and Deb are at Rick’s funeral. Rick flips open the coffin, and steps out. He says the whole thing was a joke to fool Freddy. Alice says, “No more daydreams.”
So Rick gets back in his coffin.
Dan walks over to Deb and Alice, and asks if there’s anything they can do for Alice. Alice, Dan and Deb plan to meet up at Deb’s to figure out some kind of plan.
Deb gives Alice her studded bracelet as a good-luck charm.
Oh, and Alice mentions “Mind over matter,” which used to be Sheila’s saying. I realize it’s supposed to be, like, a screenplay runner, and to make us feel empowered, or awesome, or like Alice has a plan to kick Freddy tail, but really it just makes you feel the lameness of the screenplay.
Alice goes home, gets Rick’s nunchucks, and starts practicing with them. She’s really good, for no reason. She says, “What’s happening to me?”
Alice tells her dad that she’s leaving, and that she’s going to see Deb. Dad doesn’t want her to go. He says he doesn’t want to lose her. It would be a nice emotional moment if dad wasn’t pretty much a mean ol’ drunken cipher up to this point.
Dan stands outside the diner, waiting for Alice.
Deb prepares to work out.
Alice sneaks out of her house, and goes to the diner. Dan is gone.
She walks to a nearby movie theater and buys a ticket. She goes into the theater. She even has snacks.
She starts watching the movie, which slowly changes to show a kind of nightmare-ish ghost town. The wind kicks up on the screen.
Then it kicks up in the theater, though Alice is the only one affected. Her popcorn and drink blow away, and then Alice is blown out of her seat and into the movie screen.
The people in the audience applaud.
Alice is now inside a long-abandoned version of the diner. There’s dust and cobwebs everywhere. And a cook. Female. Grey hair. It’s an old version of Alice. Good thing we knew this was her nightmare before, right?
Freddy is sitting next to Alice now. Old Alice brings out a pizza with lots of toppings. Including souls, which are pretty much just faces yelling at/to Alice. Freddy stabs Rick’s soul in the face, pulls him off the pizza, and pops him into his mouth.
Freddy tells Alice: Bring me more.
Alice looks over, and there’s Deb, in workout gear. Freddy tells Alice her shift is over.
In her workout room, Deb goes to lift her barbell.
Alice wakes up, and runs out of her house. She finds Dan at the diner, and says she needs to stop Freddy. Dan says he and Alice are in this together.
Deb keeps on working out, paying no heed to Freddy’s place reflecting in her barbell. (Hey, here’s a question. I don’t remember seeing Deb fall asleep at any point. When did that happen? DID that happen?)
Alice and Dan arrive at Deb’s house, Alice runs to the house, and…
She’s suddenly back at the diner again, and telling Dan they need to get to Deb’s house.
At Deb’s place, Freddy is now in spotting position behind Deb’s barbell. She lifts the weight, he pushes it down. Her arms snap.
The ends of Deb’s arms flop off, and insect arms now protrude from Deb’s stumps.
That make sense to everyone? Basically, Deb’s arms are normal up until about the elbow, and then after that she’s got insect arms. Big ones.
Deb runs, screaming, down a long hallway.
Alice arrives at Deb’s house, runs towards the house, and then…
Yessir, she’s at the diner again. This time, as they drive to Deb’s house, Dan says he has the feeling they’ve done this before.
In her nightmare, Deb looks down and sees a yellow sticky substance on the floor. She falls over, and her face sticks to the ground. She tries to pull herself up, and she yanks off her skin, revealing the bug underneath.
Back at the diner, Rick and Alice finally suss out that they’re going in circles. But they decide to drive to Deb’s house again anyway.
Deb, meanwhile, is now a cockroach. And it’s finally revealed that she was in a roach motel. Which Freddy squishes, causing yellow goo to shoot out of the box.
Alice jerks. She knows Deb is gone now.
She looks up. She’s driving Dan’s truck in her dream, Dan by her side, and she sees Freddy on the road. So she rams him. The front of the truck crumples.
Alice looks over at Dan, who is unconscious, and apologizes. An ambulance comes and picks him up. Alice is in the ambulance. A paramedic goes to give Dan an injection, and Alice says no.
So… they really were driving in the van while they were asleep? I guess?
Alice tells Dan that he shouldn’t let them put him to sleep. They have to get ready for Freddy.
Alice’s dad is at the hospital. Alice runs away from him, and takes his car.
Oh, and I guess it’s important, because they showed the clock: It’s 10:15, and Dan goes into surgery in 15 minutes.
Alice drives home. She runs up to her room.
They give Dan gas, and he passes out.
Alice takes a couple of pills, and then we get a whole montage of her getting dressed up in gear that I guess is supposed to make her look tough.
In his room, Dan “wakes up,” and sees that Freddy is operating on him.
Alice looks through her mirror and sees Dan’s surgery room. She jump-kicks through the mirror, frees Dan from his surgery table, and they head out the door.
Then end up in a big metal tube. It’s one of those funhouse things where it spins around, and you try to walk through it.
They walk through a stained-glass window at the end of the tube and fall to the floor of a church. Dan realizes he’s bleeding.
He’s bleeding in real life as well, so the surgeons give Dan some other kind of gas and he wakes up. Then he asks to be put back under.
Dan vanishes in Alice’s dream world, and she looks around as the Freddy chant floats through the air. The front door of the church opens up, and there’s Freddy, who says, “Welcome to Wonderland, Alice.”
(I’d just like you to know that I skipped over a WHOLE lot of Freddy one-liners as I was writing this. You’re welcome.)
Freddy walks in, and the doors swing shut behind him.
Alice’s stunt double does a whole ton of flips, ending with a kick to Freddy’s face. And then a bunch of punches.
Freddy isn’t impressed.
There’s more kicking and some flipping. Freddy falls down, then appears behind Alice and says he’s been, “guarding his gate” for a long time. Whatever that means.
Alice yanks a power cable out of the wall, shoves it against the bug zapper Sheila made, and then shoots Freddy with a stream of current. A hole appears in his chest. Freddy waves his hand over the hole, and it vanishes.
Freddy says, “I am eternal.”
He smacks her in the face, she falls over, and then she hears chanting. She looks up. On a little balcony, a bunch of young girls says, “Now I lay me down to sleep. The master of dreams, my soul I’ll keep. In the reflection of my mind’s eye, Evil will see itself, and it shall die.”
Alice says that last line too. By the way.
She also picks up a bit of shattered stained glass with reflective properties, and shows Freddy his reflection. Freddy screams, and we get a long shot of… I don’t even know. Let’s call it the inside of an artery, with a bunch of souls all screaming from the inside of Freddy.
Alice yells, “Let them out!”
Tiny arms pop out of Freddy, shredding his sweater and yanking on his limbs.
Alice goes on: “You’re dead, Krueger.”
Various souls start shoving their way out of Freddy. They rip off the top of his head, and souls, in the form of light, shoot out of his throat.
The souls thank Alice, and float out of the church.
Freddy’s clothes fall to the ground, empty. His glove does the same. Alice kicks the glove away, and walks out the doors of the church and into the light.
A day or three or five later, Alice and Dan walk by a large fountain. Dan says he’s sleeping well, Alice says she only gets two or three hours a night.
Dan pulls out a coin and tells Alice to make a wish. She says she doesn’t believe in that stuff. Dan says they both do. Just before the coin hits, Alice sees Freddy reflected in the water of the fountain.
Dan asks what she wished for. Alice considers for a second, then says, “If I tell you, it won’t come true.”
They join hands, and walk away from the fountain.
But is the nightmare over? No. The credits feature Freddy rapping. Now that’s what I call horror.