Day of the Dead

“Day of the Dead” begins in an all-white room that appears to have been made from cement blocks. There’s a person sitting against one wall as the credits roll.

And now the person looks up, and we know it’s a she, and not just an it. Though I suppose they could just be building to a twist, wherein the only men left in the world try to mate with the one remaining woman, and discover that “she” isn’t actually a she at all.

There’s an award-winning short him in there somewhere.

The woman looks at the opposite wall. There’s a calendar there, with every day crossed off in October. She goes to touch the calendar, and a bunch of undead arms burst through the wall. Dream sequence!

And now we’re in an awake sequence. We’ve got:

Dream woman, dude with a big beard, dude with a little beard, and black dude.

The woman appears to be in charge of the operation, and the operation is this: They’re flying over Florida in a helicopter, in an attempt to contact any survivors by radio. But no one is answering, so dude with the small beard wants to head back to their base.

The woman insists that they land, and tells John (the black dude) that they’re touching down. John says he’ll land, but he’s not stopping the engine and he’s not getting out of the helicopter, and at the first sign of trouble he’s taking the chopper back up.

The helicopter lands, and Big Beard and Dream Woman hop out of the chopper and go looking for people.

The streets are very, very, very empty. Big Beard yells out, using a bullhorn, asking if anyone is there.

At long last, we hear someone walking, and see the shadow. But it turns out that the “person” walking is super-duper dead.

As are the other various and sundry people we see. Although I can’t tell if the alligator is alive or undead.

In the chopper, Short Beard and John radio out to whoever is listening. John notes that it’s a dead place, and that you can hears the sounds of the dead.

In the city, Big Beard takes off, clearly determining that there’s nothing to be done here.

Later, the chopper flies right on back to base.

Base, in this instance, seems to be an actual base of some kind, with a large fence around it. The dead press against the fence, but don’t manage to push it over. That is some industrial-grade fencing right there.

John tells two dudes, who I guess are soldiers, to gas up the chopper. Dream Girl says to wait until dark, because there are too many of the dead things out there and having people in sight riles them up.

John disagrees – if they need to make a fast getaway, then the chopper needs to have fuel in it at all times.

They reach an impasse, and the soldiers, who don’t appear to like working very much anyway, opt to put off gassing up the helicopter.

Dream Girl opens the door of the chopper and talks to Big Beard, whose name is Miguel. Miguel is clearly freaked out, or at Dream Girl puts it, collapsing from stress. Miguel points out that everyone is collapsing from stress, except her, and gets super-defensive about it.

Then he storms out of the helicopter.

Dream Girl looks around and notices there’s a new grave nearby. John walks up to her and says, “And then there were twelve.” Also, he calls her Sarah.

Sarah notes that the burial must be why the dead outside are all riled up. Well, Sarah, you might be correct, but have you stopped to think that you’re the only food for something like 150 miles?

Frankly, if there was one Burger King sitting in the middle of nowhere, and I hadn’t eaten anything in a few weeks, I’d probably be pretty riled up, too.

John isn’t done yet. He points out that what they’re doing is crazy, and presents an alternative – they should hop onto the helicopter, take off, and use whatever time they have left to soak up some sunshine.

Which, as a romantic notion, sounds great. As a practical one, whatever time they have left would probably be cut pretty short by the lack of food available. Or maybe I just have a bad attitude.

No matter. The foursome gets onto a metal platform, Little Beard presses a button, and they all descend into the ground.

A solider yells out, “Another waste of time?”” as they get off the platform. John confirms that’s the case.

Another pair of soldiers pull up in what appears to be a golf cart, and ask if they found anything. Sarah says no, and tells him that they went 100 miles up the coast each way.

The other solider in the golf cart tells Sarah they need to go collect two more zombies. Sarah asks what “Logan” is going with them. So I guess we’ll meet him soon.

Sarah also asks if anyone else can go, and the solider points out that there isn’t anyone else – they’re it.

Sarah says they’ll go, and Miguel decides to join them.

The four people on collection duty drive around the underground bunker, passing, among other things, a whole bunch of boats. Man, would I love to know what those are doing down there.

I suppose it would be helpful to describe the bunker in general, but I have to say, it appears to be some kind of massive mine that’s been re-purposed. Rock walls, rock floor, rock ceiling. And a bunch of random flotsam lying around. So there isn’t much to describe.

Eventually, the group reaches the “end” of the mine, where a large wooden fence has been erected to block off a really wide hallway. Or whatever you call it when it’s a cave. Tunnel, maybe?

Either way, big wood fence.

Sarah notes that the list of zombies taken out from behind the fence doesn’t seem to have been updated recently. One of the soldiers says that sometimes, they forget to update the list. This makes Sarah upset, since they won’t know how many they have left if they don’t keep track of them.

I’d love to say I understand how crabby she is about it, but seriously – it’s not like they can’t collect a bunch from outside, right? I mean, I’m sure it’s tricky and all, but it can’t be all that rough.

The other solider starts screaming, alerting the zombies to their presence. But they’re really slow about coming for the solider.

The first solider points out that the zombies are scared – they’re worried about what “Dr. Frankenstein” will do to them.

Sarah points out that if they really are scared, it means the zombies are learning.

There’s some more taunting, because this is a low-budget movie and it helps to pad the running time a bit, and then Miguel goes to get up on the platform on top of the fence, along with one of the soldiers.

Sarah protests, since she knows Miguel is pretty much on the verge of losing it, and heated and somewhat sexist words are exchanged. Then Miguel goes on up.

The solider hooks one of the zombies using a pole, and then Miguel grabs it by the neck using a hook and collar contraption. They drag the zombie through a couple of gates, to keep it separate from the others, and then we’ve got:

A solider and Miguel up on a platform, each holding a zombie using a pole.

Sarah and another soldier are on the ground, getting ready to deal with the zombie who is already outside the gate.

The zombie Miguel is pole-holding suddenly yanks forward, and the pole comes out of his hand.

Sarah grabs the pole.

This causes the solider up top to freak out. He grabs Miguel by the collar and holds Miguel’s head over the zombie struggling in the pen below.

Sarah cocks her gun and tells the solider to let go, and the solider tosses Miguel to the floor.

Later, the two soldiers chain the zombies to a wall in a laboratory.

Elsewhere, Sarah, preps a sedative for Miguel, who angrily throws it against the wall and says he isn’t going to let Sarah dope him up. Sarah says that Miguel needs a sedative, and that he’s behaving dangerously.

Once again, Miguel says that Sarah hurt his feelings. Sarah walks towards him, and he tells her to stay away. Then he slaps her across the face. Twice.

Then he moves forward to get a hug.

Just a tip, dude – physically abusing the only female around is probably not the best course of action. He also does some crying.

Then Sarah jabs him with the dope. So he lies down on a cot and cries some more.

Elsewhere, a doctor talks to yet another soldier, explaining that they need sterile conditions.

The doctor tells the solider in charge – man, I’d kill for a name right about now – that Cooper promised…

But Head Dude says that Cooper is dead, and that the doc can work with what the doc has got.

Sarah shows up, and asks whey they can’t all just get along. Yes, she really does.

Sarah goes on to state that Miguel needs to be pulled off active duty, but Head Dude says Miguel can’t be spared. Then he offers to put Miguel in quarantine, so that the rest of the men might have a shot with the one available woman in the place.

There are a few more sexist and racist comments tossed out as well, but let’s just skip to the end of the scene:

Sarah tells the doctor, whose name is Ted, that they should leave. Head Dude says he’s calling a meeting at 7 PM, and that everyone needs to be there, including “Dr. Frankenstein and Your Boyfriend.”

Bad words are exchanged.

Sarah and Ted leave, and while walking down the corridor Ted tells Sarah to watch herself – Rhodes is dangerous. Rhodes would be the head dude, I guess.

Sarah asks where Logan is, and heads over to talk to him.

Dr. Logan is in his lab, with a bunch of dead bodies and body parts – and also a zombie with a chain around his neck.

There’s more back-and-forth chatter here, but long story short, Logan is trying to domesticate zombies. Which sounds like kind of an awesome idea, until you realize that there are just way too many of them for domestication to be a practical solution to anything.

While they’re talking, Sarah realizes that there’s a uniform on the floor that says Cooper. Logan took the newly-but-not-dearly-departed Cooper’s body to use as a specimen. He even notes that Cooper is more useful to them this way than he ever was before.

The person buried earlier that day was one of the zombies.

Which isn’t quite a continuity error, I guess. I mean, Sarah did say, “Oh, it must have been that freshly-dead body we buried that riled up all the ghouls outside the fence.” But since they buried a dead zombie, that clearly wasn’t the case.

So what did rile them up? Do they just really like helicopters?

Over on an operating table, one of the specimens breaks his manacle, and as he tries to roll off the table, his guts fall out. Logan takes a drill to the creature’s head, and kills it.

Over at the mess hall, the chopper pilots eat. Short Beard, whose name is McDermott, I guess, says he can’t raise anyone on the radio. Which I thought we already knew.

Which is when we realize that this is that 7 o’clock meeting thing that everyone was/is supposed to be at.

The soldiers berate McDermott for not trying harder, or doing a better job, and McDermott points out that much of what he’s using is World War II technology. When someone points out that they used to be able to reach Washington D.C., McDermott explains that they used to use relays, but now they’re just going over the air. He concludes this thought with: “You know the power’s off on the mainland now in case you haven’t heard, and all the shopping malls are closed.”

That’s called an in-joke.

Sarah asks if Rhodes wants anything else, and Rhodes says he doesn’t think the weekly reports mean anything. He wants to know, in simple terms, if the scientists are accomplishing anything.

The various soldiers spout some more racism and sexism, and Sarah stands up and gets ready to leave – only Rhodes stops her with a, “Sit down or so help me God I’ll have you shot.”

Sarah stops and turns around. More heated words are exchanged.

Ted tries to jump to Sarah’s defense, and Rhodes demands that one of the soldiers shoot Sarah. The solider yells Bang!

Rhodes stands up, pulls out his gun, and tells the solider that if the solider doesn’t shoot Sarah, the solider is going to be shot.

The solider prepares to shoot Sarah.

John stands up and indicates that Sarah should sit down before she gets shot.

The solider is just about to shoot Sarah, when Sarah decides that not dying would be much more awesome than dying and she goes to sit down.

Rhodes does some monologueing about how he’s in charge, and about how now that he’s in charge, this isn’t a science installation, it’s a military operation. And this is a war. And a bunch of other stuff along those lines.

He points out that their job is not to bring the creatures downstairs, next to where they sleep – their job is to shoot them in the head.

And then Logan appears, and points out that they don’t have enough ammunition to shoot them all in the head. The time to do that would have been at the beginning. Now they’ve been overrun.

The numbers are about 400,000 to 1, by Logan’s calculations.

Logan goes on to say he was unavoidably detained, and he asks if there’s any food.

Rhodes replies with one of the greatest unknown lines in the history of cinema: “I’m running this monkey farm now, Frankenstein!”

Rhodes wants to know what Logan is doing with his time. He asks what’s stopping them from killing all the remaining specimens, taking his men and leaving the scientists here to rot?

Logan asks: Where will you go?

Logan goes on to assert that there’s no way they can kill all of the creatures now – their only hope is to domesticate them.

Rhodes wants to know what that means.

Logan says they should have something to show them in a matter of weeks.

Sarah tries to backtrack, explaining that it could be months or years before they have something concrete.

The conversation starts to loop around again, and finally Rhodes declares: “You’ve got a little more time.” He adds, a moment later, “I ain’t sayin’ how much.”

Bottom line, he wants results, and nothing happens without him knowing about it.

The meeting breaks up, and John breaks it down for Sarah, and the audience. Rhodes won’t kill John, because he’s the pilot. He won’t kill McDermott because the man knows electronics. He won’t kill Logan, because Logan can talk him out of it.

But everyone else is expendable.

Later, Sarah sits on the floor of her office, and has a nightmare wherein Miguel rolls over on the cot and his guts fall out.

When she wakes up, Miguel tells her that she’s afraid, and she tells him to get out. Man, this is going to make mealtime seriously awkward. It’s not like she can hide out in the crowd of people in the mess hall.

Sarah goes to a water fountain to take some aspirin, and hears some grunting. She walks down the hall and all the soldiers, who have gotten into some strange sort of wrestling match, come shooting out the door.

Which is, I guess, what happens when there aren’t all that many women around.

McDermott arrives, and walks away quickly with Sarah in tow, hoping to protect her from whatever might happen. Once they’re in another hallway, he pulls out his ever-present flask and offers her some brandy.

She takes a pull, then a longer pull.

They grab a couple of helmets with lights on them, and head somewhere inside the cave, until they find a trailer marked, “The Ritz.” This is where John and McDermott live.

Sarah and McDermott go in, and Sarah finds that the trailer is nicely decorated. They head out the back door, where John and McDermott have laid out astroturf and lawn furniture.

John asks what’s on Sarah’s mind. At firs she’s reluctant to say, but then she states that John and McDermott never lift a finger to help anyone, even though they eat “their” food and drink “their” water.

John notes, correctly, that his job is to fly the helicopter, and that they don’t believe in what they – they being the scientists and the military – are doing. He holds up a binder, and points out that the cave contains all the important records of the United States of America: Fortune 500 companies, who owes who money, and a bunch of other things that NO ONE WILL EVER CARE ABOUT AGAIN.

The place is a 14-mile tombstone.

He continues: He thinks everything they’re doing is a waste of time, and time is all they have left. What they really need to do is go somewhere, anywhere, and start over. Make some babies. And tell the babies to never, ever come and dig up the relics of what’s pretty much already a lost civilization.

Sarah says, “Hmmm…”

There’s some more philosophical stuff after that, but it all boils down to this: Man, these people are full of speeches.

Later, Sarah sits in her lab, trying to figure out whatever it is they’re never going to figure out.

She stops to take some more aspirin, and sees Ted in his office, where he’s trying to teach a zombie to eat Beef Treats.

Logan shows up, talking about his theories about how zombies can be trained to be good little girls and boys, based on possible future rewards. Just like children can be trained.

He tells Sarah and Ted to follow him, and when the zombie in Ted’s office knocks over a table, Logan shuts off the lights, and says the zombie can just sit in the dark and think about what he’s done. In the background, the “Gonk” music, which played during the “zombies go mall-walking” segments of “Dawn of the Dead,” plays for a couple of bars.

I’m guessing it’s meant to be sort of a trombone “Wah-wah-waaaaah” sort of joke.

I was just going to sum up what Logan does next, but it’s so deeply disturbing as you’re watching it, I’m going to type out his dialogue verbatim. Keep in mind, he’s talking about a zombie here – at least at first:

“I call him Bub. That’s what the club fellows used to call my father. Can you imagine a surgeon called ‘Buuub?’ Nobody seemed to mind, though. He was rich. My father was rich. He used to say that I’d never be rich doing pure research. I’d never be rich. Bub’s been responding so well lately, I’ve let him live. But is he alive or dead? Well that’s the question these days, isn’t it? Well, let’s say that I let him continue to exist.”

Have I mentioned that Logan’s white coat is totally covered in blood?

Logan goes in the greet Bub, and gives him a toothbrush, a razor, and a copy of the novel “Salem’s Lot.”

Bub sort of tries to shave, and ends up scratching himself, which is icky. Then he picks up the book, and tries to “read” it.

Logan says that Bub remembers everything that he used to.

Ted points out that just because Bub “reads” a book, it doesn’t mean that Bub is smart. But then Sarah points something out – Bub isn’t trying to eat Logan.

Rhodes and another soldier arrive, asking what’s going on. Rhodes is going to shoot Bub, but Logan tells Rhodes that Bub is safe, and gives Bub a phone, and sorta-kinda gets Bub to say, “Hello, Aunt Alicia.”

Rhodes drops something on the floor, and Bub looks up – and salutes Rhodes.

(And here, I think is everything that’s either right or wrong with this movie. If you love Bub, if you want him to succeed, if you love the idea of a zombie retaining his humanity, the idea that some small part of us is still human even after we’re dead, you’ll love this flick.

If you’re just waiting for people to get eaten, well, it’s a bit of a hike until you get to that point – and there aren’t many action sequences in the meantime.)

Logan tells Rhodes to salute back, to see what happens. Rhodes decides this is not a good idea.

Logan has a solider take the bullets out of his pistol, which he then gives to Bub. Bub looks at the pistol -–and then yanks the slide. He points the pistol at Rhodes – and pulls the trigger.

Later, Rhodes has everyone in a meeting. He’s crabby because he thinks that the scientists just want to teach the zombies tricks. Whereas Rhodes just wants to see them all dead.

Logan explains that what they’re doing is the bare beginning of social, civilized behavior. And civility is what separates humans from the animals.

And then it’s even later, and the soldiers are pulling a couple more zombies out from behind the wooden barrier they’re storing them in.

The collar on one of the zombies breaks, and it tears the throat out of one of the soldiers.

Miguel tries to stop another escaping zombie, and it takes a bite out of his arm.

Miguel runs away, and Sarah gives chase.

The soldier with the missing throat asks another soldier to shoot him in the head. The soldier shoots him.

Sarah chases down Miguel, finally catching up to him in from of John and McDermott’s trailer. John grabs Miguel, and Sarah whacks him on the back of the head with a rock.

Sarah chops off Miguel’s arm using a machete, then creates a makeshift torch, and cauterizes the rather massive wound.

The moment that’s over, Rhodes and two other soldiers come running up, claiming that Miguel is the reason their friend is dead.

Sarah tells them that she amputated Miguel’s arm, and that he’ll be okay, and that if he isn’t, she’ll shoot him herself.

But it doesn’t matter – the solider still plans on killing Miguel, no matter what. Until John and McDermott pull out their guns.

This puts everyone at an impasse.

A lot of harsh words are exchanged, which happens a lot in the movie. Budget cuts, I guess. Words are, after all, cheap, whereas action sequences aren’t.

Final tally: Rhodes says, essentially, that the scientists aren’t getting anything from the soldiers any more. The soldiers are going to go to the corral and kill all the remaining zombies in there.

The soldiers leave.

Sarah is shaking, and crying, and freaking right out. She falls into John’s arms, and he holds and attempts to comfort her.

And then they’re putting Miguel into a bed.

Sarah says she’s going to need to go to the lab, to get some morphine. McDermott says he’s going with Sarah.

John says if they aren’t back in half an hour, he’s coming after them.

In Logan’s lab, McDermott basically goes, “What’s Logan been doing here?” Sarah collects whatever she thinks she’ll need.

McDermott presses play on Logan’s tape recorder, and Logan’s voice starts up, doing that babbling thing Logan does so well. McDermott realizes there’s fresh blood on his shirt, and he looks down, and sees a sheet covering something.

That something is the head of the solider who was just killed while collecting specimens. Apparently, the solider who shot the guy managed to miss the brain, and now the head is just sitting there, trying to eat people, even though it doesn’t have any way to process the food.

It’s just a head.

Sarah goes to shoot the head in the head, and McDermott tells her not to, since it will attract Rhodes and the remaining soldiers, which is not a good idea.

To say the least.

McDermott says they should get out of there – and that he’s starting to think they should take the helicopter before someone else does.

They go out into the hallway, and spot Logan, who is going to talk to Bub. Bub has headphones on, which Logan adjust to go over Bub’s ears.

And, wonder of wonders, Bub doesn’t try to eat Logan’s arm. Even after Logan turns on Beethoven’s “Ode to Joy.”

Logan then tries to teach Bub how to operate the tape recorder that’s playing music for Bub.

Logan congratulates Bub on his hard work, and then offers Bub a reward. Fresh meat. Fresh people meat.

Sarah and McDermott take in all of this, but have to turn away at the people eating. Which is right when Rhodes shows up, and demands to know what Bub is eating.

They take Logan to the freezer, where they find the body of the dead solider. Then they shoot Logan. A lot.

Rhodes tells his soldiers to take all of the scientist’s guns.

At the trailer, John grabs a gun and heads out to find his friends.

At which point, Miguel wakes up, or snaps to, or otherwise regains focus.

John finds all the soldiers and scientists, and Rhodes tells John to drop his weapons or the scientists are all going to die.

You know something? Considering how talky this flick is I suspect that with a little work, this whole movie could totally be a stage play. I would go see that in a heartbeat. Get on that, folks with a lot of free time and stage blood.

John drops his weapons, and one of the soldiers takes his machete.

Rhodes tells John that they’re leaving. Now. Just John and the soldiers.

John says no.

Rhodes shoots Ted in the head.

Sarah give a good old-fashioned, “Nooo!”

Rhodes has the soldiers shove Sarah and McDermott into the corral with the zombies.

John pleads for their lives, stating that he won’t fly if Rhodes won’t free his friends.

Rhodes says he’s not making deals.

John tries to grab a gun from one of the soldiers, but it doesn’t work, and Rhodes tells one of the soldiers to beat some sense into John – but not to kill him.

McDermott grabs a board for a weapon, and he and Sarah run into the zombie-filled cavern, away from the gate, figuring it’s their only hope to find safety.

The zombies, of course, give chase.

John punches out a solider, and then gets a few punches to the face.

Rhodes tells John to fly. John says not a chance.

John is just about to get another beating, when everyone hears a noise. It’s the elevator.

Miguel is headed outside.

Deep in the dark caves, Sarah and McDermott try to find a way out – until they get attacked. They fight off the zombies with a board and a shovel. Zany fun kill: McDermott shoves the shovel into one of the zombie’s mouths, and pops off the top of its head – but it’s eyes keep moving, since he didn’t damage the center of the brain.

And now we’re back with Rhodes and John. Rhodes takes his eyes off John for a second, and John jumps Rhodes and knocks him out – but he doesn’t kill Rhodes.

Back in the lab, Bub accidentally releases the pin holding his chain in place. Bub is a free man. Um... thing.

The two soldiers sent to find Miguel discover that Miguel broke all the controls to the elevator. The only way to operate the elevator now is with the hand box, which is currently at ground level.

Rhodes and the previously unconscious soldier awaken to discover that John has taken all their weapons.

This makes Rhodes sad.

John, meanwhile, is running through the caves, armed to the teeth. Although it’s tough to tell which caves he’s in. He might have gone after his friends, but I can’t tell. A bat flies by him, and I can’t say what the significance of that is.

He calls to Sarah and McDermott, so I guess he’s headed after that.

Sarah calls to John, John shoots a few zombies, and McDermott stops drinking long enough to club a zombie in the head. This causes him to drop his flask. Looks like he just gave up drinking.

Outside, Miguel walks up to the fence and opens that bad boy up. Zombies come pouring into the compound.

Miguel then runs to the elevator platform, waits for the zombies to overpower him, and presses the down button.

Is it worth noting the zombie clown? Because there’s a zombie clown. Zombie clown!

The few remaining soldiers, who are all trying to fix the elevator, see the platform coming down with a WHOLE lotta zombies on it, and they run for it.

Rhodes grabs the golf cart and drives away, leaving all his companions behind.

He finds a door, jumps through it, and locks it behind him.

Elsewhere in the complex, Bub locates Logan’s dead body, and shows him that his chain has come undone. Then he realizes that Logan is, like, really, really, dead. Really. Bub is grief-stricken. Really.

Bub spots a couple of guns on the ground.

Out in the caves, zombies are everywhere, and the soldiers are on the run. But we’re running out of movie here, so it’s time for some people to die real bad.

The first one gets his head ripped off his body, but his jaw is still working as it’s pulled off.

One of the other soldiers just keeps on shooting at zombies, but fails to hit any of them in the head. So he ends up dead.

A third solider goes full automatic on the zombie hoard, but aims for their chest area, instead of their heads.

Frankly, I’m shocked all these people didn’t die a long time ago.

The solider encounters the door that Rhodes locked, and tries to open it – and when that doesn’t work, he shoots it open.

The solider heads in the door, and here come all the zombies – including the zombie clown again. I kind of love that guy.

The solider finds Bub, and Bub, who picked up a gun, shoots at the solider.

The solider sneaks into a room and hides behind the door, waiting for Bub. So he fails to see the other zombies who come up behind him and take a chunk out of his neck.

And then – more zombies! It’s a plethora of zombies! All at markdown prices!

But no clown. Seriously, y’all – I want to see the clown eat someone. Can you imagine the nightmares you’d have after seeing something like that?

No matter. The solider finally head-shots a few of the zombies, but it’s too little, too late. He knows he’s on his way out, so he sticks the gun in his mouth and pulls the trigger.

In the caves, McDermott and Sarah encounter… even more zombies. Which I guess should be obvious by now, right? I mean, they aren’t going to get in a slap-fight with a tiger at this point. The word “Dead” is right in the title.

They get ready to fight, when finally, John catches up to them, hands out the guns, and they go to town.

They get all the way through the cave, and locate… another part of the underground bunker. Huh. All right then.

McDermott locates the elevator, which he notes is, “Temporarily Out of Service.”

So John sends Sarah up a ladder. McDermott and John follow, after John shoots another zombie in the head, and just avoids being bitten by another one.

You know what? I think they’re in a missile silo, or something. Though it could be anything, really.

And now, we’re back with Rhodes, who encounters Bub, who is still armed.

Bub shoots Rhodes. Rhodes calls Bub a bunch of bad names, and gets shot again. He ends up crawling along the floor as Bub slowly stalks towards him.

Rhodes yells out, “Come on!” He drags himself to his feet, and pushes himself along the wall, trying to find an open door.

He does, but it’s filled with zombies.

Rhodes screams and turns towards Bub.

Bub shoots him in the belly, and the zombies grab him.

Bub salutes. Rhodes falls to the ground, and they tear his legs off and eat ‘em up real good, as Rhodes yells out, “Choke on ‘em!”

Then there’s like three minutes of eating scenes, because I guess zombie fans like that kind of thing. Or maybe it’s a satire I’m just too subtle to understand. Sometimes that kind of thing goes over my head.

Above ground, Sarah, John and McDermott are now on the outside of the fence. They run to open the gate, and run to the helicopter, and John notes that he really hopes they filled the gas tank.

They run to the helicopter, Sarah opens the door, and screams as someone/something inside goes to grab her.

And then she wakes up.

She is/was asleep on a beach.

The helicopter is behind her.

John is fishing. McDermott is sitting on the beach, doing… I don’t know, some beach-sitting.

Sarah pulls out a handmade calendar, and marks off another day.

And that was pretty much the end of the trilogy, until years later, when George Romero was kinda-sorta forced out of zombie retirement.

Though I guess I should mention that, since this is an 80s movie, it features that staple of all 80s movies – the end credits song. And it’s a love ballad. No lie. With lines like, “Come take my heart, my soul, my life… Take me to the world inside your eyes.”

I’m not going to argue it’s a bad song, mind you. But wow, how astonishingly inappropriate.