Ah, the good olde Halloween font is back, letting us know that it’s October 30, 1988. And then, just for a new twist, we’ve got some credits over shots of a farm out in the middle of nowhere.
Whither the pumpkin, folks? Whither the pumpkin.
No matter. We’re away from the farm now and out on a rainy road, with an ambulance driving along. Moments later, it stops at Ridgemont Federal Sanitarium, and the fellow behind the wheel honks the horn.
A guard steps out, glances at the man behind the wheel, and says, “Go on through.”
Once inside, a man and a woman in white jumpsuits say they’re there for a pick up and transfer to “Smith’s Grove.” I presume they mean another sanitarium, as opposed to a serenity garden. Though how awesome would that be?
The guard at the front desk leads them through the sanitarium, noting that, “This is where society dumps its worst nightmares.”
The guard goes on to recap all of Halloween 1 and 2 in about ten seconds, with one quick twist. It seems that Dr. Loomis and Michael Myers “almost” burned to death.
It’s interesting, really. People just keep on talking about how Michael is superhuman. Why does no one ever mention just how much damage should have been inflicted on Loomis, as well?
I’m sure I’ll have more thoughts on that later.
The two folks in jumpsuits (one male and one female) go to locate their charge. He is lying on a bed, hooked up to what sounds like life support, covered by a sheet, and another doctor is standing over him.
The doctor confirms who the transfer personnel are, and the lady stays to “check out” the patient while the man goes off with the doctor.
Jumpsuited Female take Myers’s blood pressure, and the arm she’s not cuffing falls off the bed. I guess this is supposed to be ominous, or something, but mostly, it’s like, “Yeah, it’s an arm. I’ve seen those before.”
Jumpsuited Male talks to the doctor, and asks him why Loomis isn’t there, since Michael is still his patient. The doctor explains that Loomis’s job is “mostly ceremonial” now, and he hopes that once Myers is gone, Loomis will either transfer, retire, or die.
Yep. He really says that.
Our two jumpsuited meat suits verify that Michael is alive, and they run him out to the ambulance. And now it’s exposition time!
In a short bit of banter, we learn that Michael Myers has a niece (which I guess would be… Laurie’s daughter. What happened to Laurie?), but that the niece isn’t old enough to be his legal guardian.
So the state owns Michael. Whatever that means. It doesn’t matter either way, because as we learn this, Michael’s hand jerks up from the bed and grabs Male Jumpsuit by the face. Then jams his thumb right into the guy’s head.
The movie cuts to “elsewhere,” where a little girl can’t sleep. Her name is Jamie. She misses her parents. Something happened 11 months ago, and now she’s sad and hoping that Rachel, who is older than her, loves her.
Even if they aren’t real sisters. I’m guessing it’s a foster thing.
Rachel puts Jamie back to bed, or at least in her bedroom. Jamie opens up a small box, and inside is a picture of Laurie, who is looking very 1978-ish.
Jamie puts her box away, and as she cleans up for the night she walks by a mirror. Lighting flashes. Michael is visible in samesaid mirror. Which is confusing. Just where is the dude standing? In the window?
Oh, no, wait. He’s standing in her room. Which is guess is why they keep showing us the open window.
Jamie goes to her bed, kneels down, and says her prayers.
The second she’s done, the closet door squeaks open. She looks inside, and there’s a doll on the floor. She puts the doll away and closes the door. She goes back to her bed, and the closet door opens up again.
She goes to close it, and a hand reaches out from under the bed and grabs her. She runs away, and Michael crawls out from under the bed. She opens the door to the hall, and behind it is… Michael again. Dream sequence!
Jamie screams, and her foster parents come running down the hall. They find Jamie in the closet crying, and assure her that she just had a bad dream. Which she did. Which is kind of lame.
And now it’s the next day, and the school bus is driving along while our friendly neighborhood burn-in informs us that we’re in Haddonfield, Illinois, and it’s October 31, 1988.
Oh, and then it lets us know that it’s “Halloween.” In case we had no idea what the significance of the title of the movie or October 31 is.
And now, some family drama. Dad dips his tie in his coffee, and needs a new tie. Mom has just learned via phone call that her babysitter has canceled, and because of this, Rachel discovers that she must babysit (thematic echo, echo, echo) Jamie tonight, and cancel her plans with Brady. Whoever that is.
She goes off on a long, kind of lame rant about how she thought Brady was ready to commit, and this is totally imperiling her mother’s future grandchildren, when in comes Jamie, who says the she’s sorry she ruins everything.
Rachel feels some low-end remorse, while her father admonishes her.
Rachel goes to apologize to Jamie, stating that she and Brady can go out tomorrow. And that they should go trick-or-treating (dude… just… assuming Jamie knows ANYTHING about what happened to her mom… just, no…) and they should also go get some ice cream after school.
“Double scoops?” says Jamie. Who is milking her foster sister’s guilt for all it’s worth.
The movie cuts to a long, white hallway where we’re following a bald dude in a long coat, who is walking with a cane. You know what? Forget the return of Michael Myers. Who’s got a moment to give it up for Loomis? Whoo! Loomis, Loomis, Loomis, Loomis!
Loomis goes to confront the doctor who released Myers the night before, and we finally get a look at Loomis’s face. Normal on one side, kind of melty and gross on the other.
And just as crabby as ever. “Why wasn’t I notified? You let them take it out of here.”
And we’re off with the usual back-and-forth, with Loomis concluding by pointing out the damage to his face, and reminding the other doctor of the date.
The phone rings, the doctor who is not named Loomis picks it up, and hangs up moments later with a, “There’s been an accident…”
Loomis doesn’t even wait to hear more. He knows what time it is, and he is out the door.
Out on the highway, the cops are blocking off the flipped ambulance. Loomis and the other doctor pull up, and…
You know, does it really matter what everyone says? Loomis, naturally, figures that Michael is alive and headed to Haddonfield, so he tells everyone he’s going to Haddonfield and they can reach him through the local police.
He notes that it’s a four-hour drive, and that if the cops and the other doctor don’t find Michael in four hours, Loomis is sure he’ll find Michael.
Gotta say, it would be kind of awesome if they did find Michael’s body, and it turned out that someone else entirely was talking the streets of Illinois, but really, what are the chances of that happening?
Ah well. Onward.
In a garage located somewhere-or-other, a man working under a car sees a coworker go by, so he asks for a socket wrench. The coworker doesn’t comply, so the man slides out from under the car and spots Michael, still wearing a hospital gown and bandages over his face.
Michael drives some sort of large metal thing down into the hapless mechanic. He must have been overcharged.
I’m a bit confused about Michael’s face coverings, though. Given the fact that Loomis is clearly healed, Michael should be healed as well. Did he have an accident at the hospital? Probably not, since the idiot doctor stated that Michael’s muscles should have atrophied.
So… people just take turns cutting on Michael for fun, maybe? Might explain all the anger.
Later, Dr. Loomis drives to the same garage, in search of gas for his car. He gets out to fill his tank, and when no one answers his calls for assistance, he begins to fill his tank himself.
A POV shot implies that Michael is watching Loomis from an area near the garage door.
Loomis finishes filling up, and heads into the garage. He looks and looks for someone, anyone, and finally finds a guy. Unfortunately, it’s the dead one from a couple of minutes ago.
In a minor panic, Loomis runs into a small diner attached to the garage, and locates a dead cook. Loomis looks around, and spots Michael, still in bandages but now dressed in a jumpsuit he stole off of the dead mechanic. Interestingly, I can’t spot the hole Michael would have made stabbing the guy.
But while I’m thinking of it, I also want to know how it is that Michael is so good at gauging whom he should kill so he can take the dude’s clothing.
Loomis begs Michael not to go to Haddonfield, then shoots at Michael a couple of times. Michael vanishes before the bullets hit him. No idea how he manages to dodge bullets or how Michael manages to leave the kitchen, which appears to have no exit.
Loomis runs out to the parking lot, and suddenly a tow truck comes crashing through the garage door, just misses Loomis, and then smashes into the gas pumps, which causes them, and Loomis’s car, to go up in flames.
Loomis just barely gets out of the way by diving behind some garbage cans.
At Jamie’s school, Jamie is walking down the hall and being taunted for not wearing a costume. Oh, and because her mom is dead. And because her uncle is the boogeyman.
I’ll admit, I’ve seen some vicious kids in my time, but taunting someone about their dead mom is a new one on me.
Though thinking about it, I have to say that it’s not real wise to taunt someone whose uncle killed something like 16 people. You never know when something like that isn’t going to skip a generation.
Oh, and now they’ve gone to, “Jamie’s an orphan! Jamie’s an orphan!”
Jamie runs out of school and down the street, and tries to calm herself by saying, “You’re okay. You’re okay.”
Yeah, someone should definitely get this kid some help before she starts admiring sharp things.
Rachel hops out of a nearby car, asking Jamie is she’s all right. Rachel’s friend Lindsey is driving.
Now, earlier, it should be noted, Rachel said that Jamie’s mom used to babysit her. Sooo… I gotta know, is this THE Lindsay? Because that would be awesome.
Jamie tells Rachel she’s changed her mind. She wants to go trick-or-treating. Lindsey says that they’re having a sale on costumes at the Discount Mart. Rachel doesn’t want to go there, because Brady is there and she doesn’t want to seem “too pushy.”
I’m not quite sure what her logic is, but ultimately it doesn’t matter, as Jamie decides she really wants to go trick-or-treating, so they’re off to the Discount Mart. Oh, and also Dairy Queen, because Jamie still wants ice cream.
Yeah, Jamie really does know how to work the old personal trauma angle.
Over at the Discount Mart, we meet Brady, who bets his friend Wade that Wade won’t ask out Brady’s coworker. Wade makes his move, and Brady’s coworker uses profanity to assure Wade that they will not be going out.
Lindsey, Rachel, and Jamie arrive at the Discount Mart, which actually appears to be the store Michael stole a bunch o’ stuff from in part one. Rachel sends Jamie to find a costume, while she goes to talk to Brady.
Jamie looks over her costume options, and chooses a clown costume. Just behind her, the Michael mask looks on, ominously. There is something seriously wrong with a storeowner who continues to stock the same mask a serial killer once stole from his store.
Jamie calls to Rachel about her perfect costume, and the camera cuts to Rachel and Brady, who are doing some serious sucking of the face. Serious. Jamie is moments away from having a foster-nephew, the way these two are going.
Rachel pulls away to tell Brady they won’t be able to get together tonight. He takes it poorly, since she’s just telling him at 5 PM. He looks over at his female coworker. Any port in a storm seems to be the order of the day.
Brady says he’ll call Rachel later.
Jamie looks at herself in the mirror, holding up the clown costume. The mirror shot turns into a little boy, and the audience goes, “Oh, yeah, little Michael wore a clown costume when he slaughtered his older sister with a knife.”
Just behind Jamie, a hand grabs the Michael mask, and a dude in a jumpsuit slips it on behind Jamie. Jamie panics, turns, and falls into the mirror on the wall.
Rachel comes running, Brady close behind her, and Jamie says, “It was the nightmare man.”
You know what just occurred to me? Who was Jamie’s dad? Was he the dude who Laurie met in the hospital? The ambulance driver?
Rachel doesn’t even try to find the creepy guy who scared her foster sister, instead opting to say she probably saw a mask or something. I guess she really DOESN’T love Jamie all that much. How sad.
Rachel brushes Jamie off and leads her away, while nearby, reflected in shattered glass, we see the “face” of Michael.
Out on the highway, Loomis tries to thumb a ride with various people. After being taunted by some cheerleaders, a crazy Reverend with a really, really beat up old car picks him up.
Back in Haddonfield, it’s time to trick-or-treat. The foster parents leave, Jamie gets her costume on, and Rachel calls Brady and leaves a message that he should come over around 8 PM.
Meanwhile, someone is watching from outside the house.
Jamie puts on her clown costume, and she and Rachel head out to beg for candy.
Inside the house, Michael wanders around. He finds Jamie’s special box o’ mom photos and looks at the shot of his sister. I can only imagine how upset he is that she died before he could kill her.
At the sheriff’s office, Loomis walks up to the front desk and asks for his old friend, the sheriff. Turns out the old sheriff retired in 1981.
You know, granted, his daughter was killed in 1978. But the man didn’t look any older than mid-40s in “Halloween.” When did the guy retire, at age 50? Just how well does the sheriff gig pay in Haddonfield?
Loomis is directed to the new sheriff, who already knows who Loomis is. Loomis does a recap of the movie up to this point, and the sheriff tells his peon to make a call and check it out. Peon notes that the long-distance lines are down.
The sheriff tells Loomis they’re going to go collect Jamie, and they head out.
Jamie and Rachel, meanwhile, are walking the trick-or-treat walk. Jamie runs into a bunch of other kids, and one of them notes that, “That clown costume is really cool.” The kids ask if Jamie wants to join them on their trick-or-treating adventure.
She does, and the large group of kids heads for the next door. Ding-dong!
The door opens, and there’s Brady’s coworker, who says, “Hi, Rachel.” And who’s behind her, in the hallway? Aw yeah, it’s Brady.
Rachel is somewhat taken aback by this turn of events.
Brady calls out to Rachel, attempting to explain himself. Rachel stops to talk to him, and Jamie wanders off with the other kids. Apparently acceptance by a group of kids is enough to make her abandon the person who got her a Halloween costume AND ice cream.
Somewhere in this movie is an awesome Psych paper about the emotional damage rendered by having dead parents and a serial killer for an uncle.
Rachel decides that Brady isn’t worth listening to, and stalks off, while Brady’s coworker asks if Brady is coming back inside. Is it worth pointing out that all she seems to be wearing is a T-shirt that says “Cops do it by the book?”
(Her dad is the sheriff. One assumes he bought her the shirt. Ewww.)
Rachel looks around and begins calling to Jamie, but she’s nowhere to be seen. Unfortunate.
In a local bar, the news is on, letting people know to get in their homes, and telling local businesses to close as soon as possible.
The bartender calls the sheriff. There’s no answer. So the bartender grabs a bunch of patrons and they all head off to the police station.
Over at Jamie’s house, the sheriff and Loomis walk in the open front door. The sheriff has a shotgun.
Loomis walks upstairs and finds Jamie’s box of dead mom photos. Loomis declares, “He’s been here.” He points out a dead dog to the sheriff. I guess Michael got hungry again.
The sheriff and Loomis head out. The sheriff leaves a deputy behind.
Elsewhere, at a power plant, a random worker encounters Michael, we get the standard horror movie scene where the dude is like, “You better leave, or I’m calling the cops,” and then Michael throws him into something power generating and all the lights in the city go black.
I fail to see what the point of this master plan is. Michael was in the house that the person he wants to kill lives in. Why not just wait for a couple hours? Killing all the power in town seems wildly inefficient.
Out in the city, Rachel and Jamie wander the streets. Jamie has been abandoned by all her friends, who I guess finally realized that her clown costume was not at all cool.
Rachel eventually sees someone stalking the streets who looks sorta like Michael. So she runs. Astonishingly smart, really.
After a couple more minutes, Rachel finds Jamie. And then along comes the sheriff and Loomis, who put the kids in their car, while off in the shadows Michael looks on.
Loomis spots Michael. Oh, wait. There are three dudes in jumpsuits and masks. Dude. Duuude…
Oh wait, never mind, it’s some kids playing a p rank.
The sheriff spouts some idle threats, and the kids yank off their masks and head for home.
The sheriff, Loomis, Rachel, and Jamie all drive away. And there, behind the car, is… Michael! Maybe. Could just be another kid in a mask. There isn’t any way to tell.
Loomis and the sheriff head to the police station, where everyone is dead. It seems Michael decided that after he cut the power, he wanted to make sure no one at the police station could get involved.
What I’d really like to know is, what’s Michael’s game plan, here? Is he working from some sort of deranged list?
Step one: Kill power to the entire city.
Step two: Eat a dog.
Step three: Kill everyone at the police station.
The sheriff and Loomis walk out of the police station and bump into all the patrons from the bar, who demand to know what’s going on. Your guess is as good as mine, folks.
The sheriff says this is police business. Loomis pipes up and says that Michael Myers is responsible.
The sheriff tries to maintain control, but one of the many bar patrons notes that the police didn’t exactly do a bang-up job last time, and things don’t look too good for what remains of the police force, at the moment.
Apparently the angry guy “lost his boy ten years back.” Which means he could be anyone, really. Lotta dudes died in the first two movies.
The collection of angry drunks gets ready to lock and load, and the sheriff accuses Loomis of creating a lynch mob.
“You don’t have a police force,” spits Loomis. He does not point out that if a mob kills a guy who ended the lives of almost twenty people and two dogs, the world will probably not get too upset.
Over at Jamie’s house, the deputy runs to his car and radios the sheriff to let him know he heard all the other cops are dead. As he does so, the camera pans over to the back seat, where Michael is lying, being all prone and quiet.
The deputy sets down the radio and rolls out.
Moments later, Ma and Pa Foster show up at the house, noting that the lights are all out in the house. They head into the house.
Somewhere in town, the lynch mob spots Michael. So they all pile out of the truck and do a LOT of shooting. They run over to check out the body, and it’s not Michael. Which we knew. Yeah, they just shot some guy to death. Poor guy. Too bad he didn’t follow the curfew.
Over at Brady’s coworker’s house, Brady and the coworker are getting really friendly. Really, really friendly. Yeppers.
Just as things are about to get really, really, really friendly, Coworker hears a car pull into the driveway, and realizes it’s her dad. Who is, of course, the sheriff.
Props to you, screenwriter-person. You thought this bad boy out. Rachel and Brady can at last be reunited to work out their differences, while waiting to be slaughtered by a serial killer. It’s like a sitcom, really, with the enclosed space and the working out of difficulties. Plus, sharp, pointy objects and mayhem.
Loomis, Rachel, Jamie, and the sheriff pile out of the car and into the house, with Loomis declaring, “Where is that deputy?” and the sheriff saying, “He’ll be here in a minute.”
Sure enough, here comes to deputy. Which of course means Michael is with him. This movie is gonna get brutal fast, folks. Once again, props to the screenwriter for efficiency.
Coworker, it turns out, is named Kelly. The sheriff tells Kelly to take Jamie upstairs. Then he asks if Brady knows how to use a gun, and gives him a shotgun. Brady asks the sheriff to explain what’s going on.
The sheriff says there’s no time. No time? “There’s a killer on the loose, and he’s trying to kill Jamie. If you see a man in a mask, his name is Michael Myers. Shoot him in the face.” How hard is that?
The sheriff asks the deputy where his riot gun is, and the deputy says it’s in the car and goes to get it.
Brady is sent to the attic with his gun, a hammer, and some nails.
Everyone in the house starts boarding things up – the sheriff declares that the front door is now the only way in or out of the house.
Upstairs in the attic, Brady hears a noise and goes to investigate. Nothing happens.
In Kelly’s bedroom, Jamie asks Rachel when they can go home.
Loomis and the sheriff use a battery-powered radio in an attempt to reach the state police.
Kelly makes a cup of coffee. She’s still wandering around in her T-shirt, and no pants. Oddly, her dad has yet to say anything about this. That creeps me out a bit.
Rachel sees that Jamie is falling asleep, and heads downstairs to find out what’s going on. The deputy tells her the state police will be along soon.
The sheriff finally reaches the state police, and he explains the situation, in brief. The state police say they need some information, and Loomis takes off.
As he exits the house, the deputy asks him where he’s going. Loomis says he’s going to try to stop Michael. The deputy asks Loomis if Loomis knows HOW to stop Michael.
Loomis says no, but someone has got to try.
And, as we all know, Loomis is the only other person in town who can live through being set on fire.
The deputy locks the door behind him.
Kelly makes coffee. With no electricity. Rachel joins her in the kitchen, and Kelly tries to justify herself.
The sheriff hears talk over the radio about the dude who got shot dead. So he heads out of the house to prevent more innocent people from getting all shot up.
Jamie wakes up alone and freaks out a little bit.
Rachel, who has been left sitting all alone by the police radio, starts to get creeped out.
Kelly comes out into the living room, carrying a tray of hot coffee. She offers some to the deputy, who doesn’t say anything. So instead of going, “Um, dude, SAY SOMETHING,” or freaking out and running away, she lights a candle.
Which allows her to see the dead deputy.
Michael stands up, brandishing a shotgun, which he rams through Kelly’s torso, pinning her to a wall.
Down by the radio, Rachel gets a call from the state police – they’ll be there in about a half-hour. She thanks them, then goes upstairs to tell everyone. Only they’re all dead, of course.
Rachel screams and heads up the stairs to find Jamie. Jamie missing. She runs downstairs and finds Brady. Brady goes to open the front door so they can run, but he doesn’t have a key.
He tries to shoot out a lock, but “It’s metal!” So they can’t escape. They’re trapped in the house. Unless they can find, I don’t know, a window. Dude is still carrying a shotgun, after all...
They head up the stairs and find Jamie, then look around, and there’s Michael, being all Michael-y.
Brady aims his shotgun and goes to shoot, but he needs to reload. So he reloads, all slow and suspenseful-like. He goes to fire, and Michael takes the gun from him and administers a beating to his face, which culminates in… I’m not sure, really. A shattered neck, maybe? Either way, dude has probably groped his last sheriff’s daughter.
Rachel and Jamie head into the attic, and toss a bunch of junk down the stairs to slow Michael down a bit. They run to the window and smash through it. Jamie gets on Rachel’s back, and they climb out onto the roof.
And here, naturally, comes Michael.
Rachel ties a cable around Jamie and starts to lower Jamie down off the roof, only Michael takes a swipe at her and Jamie drops about halfway to the ground before the cable catches.
Jamie grabs onto an ivy trellis and climbs down.
Rachel tries to fend off Michael, only she falls off the roof and is knocked unconscious.
Jamie tries to wake her up, only Michael is now on the ground and ready to party. Or to kill Jamie. Either way.
Jamie runs off, screaming. Michael gives stalk.
Rachel wakes up.
Jamie runs into Loomis. Loomis asks where the schoolhouse is. Loomis should know. Perhaps he forgot all about the whole Samhain thing.
Jamie and Loomis run to the school, which is padlocked shut. Loomis shoots the lock off, and they run inside, searching for a room to hide in. Things are looking up.
Until Michael appears out of nowhere, grabs Loomis, and throws him through a window.
One would think that Loomis is the one guy Michael would want to make sure is good and dead, but I guess that isn’t the case.
I mean, seriously, they’re on the first floor. Loomis is probably going to have, like, two scratches. After a night of cutting the power and killing all the cops, this hardly seems like a time to cut corners.
Jamie goes running… no, sorry, walking pretty slowly down the hallway, looking for a room to hide in. She turns around to look, and there’s no Michael.
So she heads down the hall again, looking around a bit, and oh, there he is.
So the panics and runs, and falls down some stairs. So maybe they were on the second floor after all. Jamie, who can’t get up off the floor, pulls herself to the bathroom, when a hand clamps on her ankle.
Suddenly, Rachel races around the corner, shoots Michael with a fire extinguisher, and grabs Jamie.
Rachel runs outside with Jamie, where they run into the bar patrons. The bar patrons throw the girls in their truck, and they all leave town. They radio in to… someone, to let them know the state police are on their way.
The state police drive by, going in the opposite direction. One of the police cars stops and sends the whole crew to a nearby officer’s station.
The whole gang heads there, encountering a massive fog when they do.
And here comes Michael who was… what, exactly? Holding onto the bottom of the truck? I have no idea. None whatsoever.
Michael kills all the dudes in the back of the truck, then breaks the outside window and yanks the driver’s throat out.
Rachel shoves over and takes the wheel, racing the truck around erratically in an attempt to throw Michael off the truck.
Rachel hits the brakes and tosses Michael off the truck. Then she guns the truck and rams him, knocking him into a ditch.
Naturally, this causes her to drive off the road, about thirty feet away from Michael.
Jamie looks over her shoulder and sees Michael moving, while Rachel goes to talk to the cops.
Jamie, who suddenly got all stupid, walks over to Michael and looks at his very scarred hand. Then she touches his hand. Michael twitches, and all the cops start shooting Michael a lot.
Michael takes a whole bunch o’ shots, then falls backwards into what I guess is a well. Which then crumbles on top of him.
So Michael is probably really, really dead, except they’ll never, ever recover his body. So they can’t be sure.
Back at Jamie and Rachel’s house, everyone convenes, and Loomis goes, “Oh, yeah, Michael is dead now, and these kids will be just fine.”
Foster Mom takes Jamie upstairs and starts the bath, when suddenly we move into killer POV. Which grabs a pair of scissors, slips on a clown mask, and…
There’s a scream from upstairs. Loomis runs into frame, and looks up the stairs, and there’s Jamie, in her clown mask, clutching a pair of scissors, all covered in blood and breathing heavy.
Cut to black.
That leaves just one question: What was up with that farm at the start of the movie?